Bethany learned that she can be gentle and have strong boundaries. She's created amazing shifts for herself and is now living a life full of love - for her family, her work, and most importantly - herself! Before coaching, she was being "too nice" and getting manipulated by her colleagues and some of her friends and family tool.
Her message to you? "I often think of 'then' and 'now' and I'm so grateful for the changes. I know I worked hard to get myself out of that situation ... It is really worth it for you and it will really work."
How was your life before the programme?
I was forever being too nice, especially with people at work, but that left me being walked over, having no authority in my class and feeling exhausted when I got home to my family. I'd nag, shout and try to control my two kids. I felt like I was turning into my mother, who brought me up harshly, shouted a lot, was very strict and had high religious purity expectations. I hated that!
People would manipulate me in my personal life too; friends and some family. I couldn't be honest with people when the truth would have been helpful for fear of offending them. At work, I wanted to leave because of particularly challenging, manipulative, 'entitled' people, who wore me down and I felt unable to support them to learn because I was too afraid to ask them to work hard and turn up on time or more accurately hold them accountable to those things.
Why did you decide to do it?
I knew that I needed to learn to put boundaries in place and I wanted to learn how to do that.
Did you have any objections before starting?
No, none, even though there was a cost involved, I felt that I was so desperate to change that any amount was worth it and I would make the most of the opportunity - to get my money's worth, I would work hard too.
What’s the biggest result so far?
I can set boundaries now and I can be gentler with my family (even in lockdown 3!) I also changed work to something I've always wanted to do - the coaching enabled me to take that leap of faith! I believe in myself and know my worth. I even run a children's art class with some challenging behaviour from members who've known me before the coaching and so would have thought I was 'soft' before. I deal with them well! Although I trained to teach children I didn't go into the profession because I was scared of controlling a class. Now I can't believe I volunteered myself to set up a kids group!
What tools have made the biggest difference?
I've gained so much from these tools. Now, I know how to: do self-care (soft play); have a sensible diary/routine; actually use sleep hygiene techniques; share our household tasks with my husband; and set doable goals. The meditation (to face a childhood experience that had caused me to be afraid to set boundaries and challenge people) was very powerful.
How is life now?
Very good! I seem to have covered lots above, but I love talking about it… Now, I am an artist! I teach art and make and sell art. As a teen, I was encouraged to leave art as a hobby instead of teaching art so I trained to teach English and I loved that and so I did that in my career. I still do private tuition - all on my terms - and I can see my student flourish too!
Now I can be free to teach art and to share my passion through my work. I'm very grateful for that. I often think of 'then' and now and I'm so grateful for the changes. I know I worked hard to get myself out of that situation and with the coaching support I've started a wonderful new business. Next, I want to learn more about art techniques to be able to share these in my lessons and make more different art pieces to sell. I will continue to build community and bring people together through creativity.
What would you say to someone thinking of doing this programme?
It is really worth it for you and it will really work. When you don't feel you can function or carry on, doing the coaching can teach you how - but not just to function, you'll learn to flourish!