Decisions, decisions, decisions...
I've mentioned in the past that I love exploring all things spiritual, and I've been a practising tarot reader for the last seven years. Tarot for me is a great tool for self-reflection - I don't take what comes up as an absolute predictor that someone tall, dark and handsome is lurking around the corner, I take it as themes and prompts for enquiry. So recently, I've found myself spending some time on the tarot side of TikTok recently, watching and learning from some of the great card readers on there, and I've noticed something.
In any live tarot reading, at least 80% of the people there are trying to make a decision, and have turned to an online person and a deck of cards to make it for them. I get it, there's something comforting in believing that it was "meant to be" or not, and not up to you. Because if it's up to you, and you choose "wrong"... EEK!
Uncomfortable choices
Some choices are more important than others. It's a pretty low-stakes decision for me to pick out what to wear in the morning because I am trying to keep my wardrobe in a Marie Kondo style "does it spark joy" state. As long as colours and patterns don't clash too eye-wateringly, I'm satisfied. (For you, the thought of this laissez-faire attitude to outfits might bring horror and that's fine too!)
Something with a financial cost ups my stakes significantly. A holiday, for example, needs me to make a series of decisions - location, time of year, dates, hotel, travel method, eco-impact, what to pack etc. Definitely going to take more of my time and attention to get all those decisions flowing smoothly together!
Then there's the big ones. The uncomfortable ones. The ones we can circle again and again without making a decision, for fear of making a mistake. Do I quit my job? Do I have another baby? Do I marry her? Do I leave him? Do I buy this house? Do I cut contact with that family member? Suddenly, the stakes are through the roof, and probably so is your stress level!
How can Human Design help?
Human Design is a tool that I use with my clients as another way of understanding how they function. It’s based on your exact time, date and place of birth - bear with me as it starts to sound a bit woo - and gives you tools and insights into what lights you up, how you function best, how to make decisions, gain energy, find joy, thrive in your body, respond to pressure and so on…
In Human Design terms, we all have something that is called our “authority” - the way we are coded to make our best decisions. It’s why someone else’s advice on how to make a choice doesn’t always help… We are all designed differently, so it makes sense that advice like this can’t be universal.
For example, there's no use telling someone to "trust their gut" when all their gut is saying is "rumble rumble time for a snack" (unless, of course, you're deciding on whether to have elevenses!)
What about a pros and cons list? Great if you're a really "heady" thinker, but what about when the one that comes up as having the most pros just feels plain wrong?
So here's my take on the seven different authorities. I've tried to break down the wordy concepts into useable bitesized bits. If you know your design, it’ll be a handy reminder. If not, don’t worry - one might resonate more than others, and I’m always happy to help you work out which one applies to you.
Emotions - you need emotional clarity before making a decision (or you run the risk of picking now and regretting later!) Try experimenting with waiting - 5 minutes for small decisions, try sleeping on it for larger ones, and for more impactful decisions, why not give yourself a week?
Gut response - you get an in-the-moment hell yes and fuck no that you might not be able to explain - it’s a feeling or response, not a wordy rational thing. If this is you, remember that if you don’t know or get a “meh”, treat it as a “no for now” and revisit when things have changed a bit.
Intuition - when you’ve made great decisions in the past, you got a spontaneous ping or “inner knowing”, followed by some worries and what-ifs. Remember to listen to that little voice inside, and let your mind take a back seat!
The heart wants what it wants - knowing what you value, and what you want and don’t want is your cue. If you talk yourself into doing something you truly don’t want to, then you just won’t be able to sustain the energy.
Speak it out - you need someone trusted to talk through your decision-making process. It’s not about getting advice, you just need to say it so that you can hear your own thoughts. If there’s no one around to do this with, remember that voice notes on your phone make an excellent backup.
Location, location, location - have you ever noticed that where you are has a massive impact on whether you can make a decision? If it feels off, it will feel like you just can’t make a choice. Don’t be afraid to change spaces - or change your space - to let the decisions flow more clearly.
The big wait - a very few of us need a long time to make our choices - it may be up to 28 days. You’ll flow through all these different processes, trying them out, and will come to a decision at the end of the wait that feels right for you.
So what do you think? Does one resonate with you as the way you've made great decisions in the past? And if so, what will you do differently now you know?
If you want to know more about this Human Design thingie, you can join the newsletter using the form in the footer below - I send out semi-regular emails with tips, tricks and insights from my coaching toolkit and my nerdy studies ever deeper into the HD system. Alternatively, you can contact me to discuss your design and even book a reading where I'll give you the "need to knows" of your individual design in an easy-to-apply format.